


Bucky Barnes Epic Day Off

by fingersnapstothat



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: 80's timeline, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, Bucky is Ferris, Crack, Ferris Bueller's Day Off AU, Fluff and Humor, Humor, I had to write this Ferris Bueller's Day Off is my all time favorite movie, Inspired by a Movie, M/M, Natasha is Cameron, Steve is Sloane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 20:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11020707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fingersnapstothat/pseuds/fingersnapstothat
Summary: “Hehe six sharp,” Bucky mumbled. He didn't know what he was doing but he needed to seem adorable.His parents walked out of Bucky's room collectively and sit the door, “Call if you need us!” Winifred called after.Bucky pretended to be asleep until he heard everyone in the house leave. He sat up and looked at the wall in disbelief.“They bought it.”





	Bucky Barnes Epic Day Off

**Author's Note:**

> this has been sitting in my docs since christmas omg i finally had the courage to post it bless
> 
> i sat in front of my tv watching ferris buellers day off and wrote this scene for scene ok i aM COMMITTED 
> 
> anyways enjoy!

Started out like day just like any other.

A sunny and bright day in March, a perfect morning all around.

And a perfect day for Bucky Barnes to take the day off.

Bucky Barnes was creating a plan, a plan unlike anything he's created before. A plan that could work if he had the perfect allotment of time, and the precision of a artist from the great Age of Enlightenment.

The perfect sick day.

Even before the sun rose, Bucky had a great plan, but he knew it would take two of the best people he knew to make his one last sick day of his senior year, the best one.

The radio went off at seven o’clock sharp downstairs in the kitchen, on cue, Winifred Barnes went up the stairs swiftly and smooth, not a footstep was heard, but Bucky knew she was coming. She opened the door quietly and Bucky was ready in position.

“James? Time to get up.” Winifred said quietly.

No reply.

“James.” A shove to Bucky's shoulder soon followed.

Again, no response.

“James?” A touch to the forehead? _Check_. A small gasp? _Check_.

“M-Ma? I-I don't feel good…”

“What's wrong sweetie? You feelin’ too hot?”

“I-I keep seein’ spots...and my stomach? My stomach hurts, Ma.”

Winifred dashed to the edge of the stairs and called for her husband, “Geooooorge!”

George sprang up from his seat in the kitchen and ran to his wife, “What? What, what’s the matter?”

“Oh it's James!”

“Bucky? What's wrong?”

“What's wrong?! Oh well for Christ’s sake, look at him, George!” Winifred led George to Bucky's room and the two bent over to see their son, staring off into the corner with wide eyes.

“Bucky?” George started as Bucky's eyes slowly turned to look at his father.

“He doesn't have a fever, but he said he has a stomach ache and he’s seein’ spots.” Winifred and George looked at each other with worry and then at Bucky.

George gave a small ‘Hpm’ and got closer to Bucky, Bucky turned from his side and laid on his back in his bed and looked at his father, a sad and sick pout worn proudly. His father gave him a sympathetic smile and leaned in closer, putting a hand on Bucky's blanket covered shoulder, “What's the matter, Buck?”

Bucky gritted his teeth and looked at his father with tired eyes, “Papa?”

Winifred looked to her husband, “Honey feel his hands, they're cold and clammy.” Bucky pulled his left hand out from under his pillow and gave it to his father to hold. George took his hand and held it tightly.

“Uewww” His father said.

“I'm fine...I get up!” Bucky exclaimed as he started to sit up.

“NO!” His parents shouted as they put gentle hands over him, prompting their son to lay back down.

Bucky made his face frown with (fake) annoyance, “No, no, I have a test today. I have to take it. I wanna go to college so I can have a fruitful life.” Bucky sniffed and it made his voice more nasally.

“Honey, you're not going to school like this now!”

“Oh hi, what's this, what's his problem?” interrupted a voice, his sister, Rebecca “Becky” Barnes stood in Bucky’s doorway, her hands on her hips. Her dark brown hair was teased and curled, and it provided a curtain over her eyes to make the look on her face more sinister and evil (Bucky's words). It made her pink sweater look out of place on her as well. Becky’s manicured nails tapped her hips in a waving motion and a clacking sound on her belt, along with her worn Adidas paired with dirty leg warmers, tapping on the hardwood floor.

Winifred slowly turned her head and cut her eyes at her daughter, “He doesn't feel well.”

Becky scoffed, “Oh right, try that one and you could fertilize the lawn.”

“Becky? Is that you?” Bucky looked around his room for his sister, his eyes unfocused and glazed over, he blinked several times to give the effect, “Becky? I can't see that far. Becky?” Bucky sat up and outstretched his hand to reach for his little sister, “Becky, I--” Bucky fell back into the bed dramatically, his eyes rolling back into his head.

“Bite the big one, junior.” Becky scratched the side of her mouth with her middle finger, and Bucky gave her a wink.

“Thank you, Rebecca, now you get to school.” Winifred snapped.

Becky turned and looked at her mother like she was crazy, “You're letting him stay home from school?! I can't believe this, if I was bleeding out from my _eyes_ you guys would make me go, this is so unfair.”

“Becky, please don't be mad at me, you have your health, be thankful.” Bucky added, he made a quick shushing motion with his finger and smiled at his sister. “Ooh” he moaned.

“Oh!” His parent turned back to him and looked at him with concern.

“That's it,” Becky gritted, “I want out of this family.” She whispered as he flipped her hair and ran down the stairs. Winifred just shook her head at her daughter and then looked back at her eldest and only son.

“I'm okay,” Bucky muttered as he cleared his throat, “I'll just sleep, maybe I'll have an aspirin around noon.”

His father gave him a sympathetic smile and his mother tucked the blanket up to his chin, “I'm showing some houses to that family from Vermont today, so I'll be in the area. My office knows where I'm at so call if you need me okay?” She rubbed Bucky's cheek and gave him a giant grin.

“Okay.”

“I'll check in on you too, pal.” George said, wrapping a hand around his wife's waist.

Bucky smiled goofily, “It's node to know I have such loving caring parents,” His parent smiled down at him adoringly, “You both are very special people.”

Winifred’s smile for bigger and she couldn't help but lean down and kiss her son’s head, “Now you get better, pumpkin!” She booped Bucky's nose and stood back up straight.

“Now I'll be back home at six sharp, but you call if you need anything.” George pointed out.

Six o'clock exactly, Bucky noted.

“Hehe six sharp,” Bucky mumbled. He didn't know what he was doing but he needed to seem adorable.

His parents walked out of Bucky's room collectively and sit the door, “Call if you need us!” Winifred called after.

Bucky pretended to be asleep until he heard everyone in the house leave. He sat up and looked at the wall in disbelief.

 

“ _They bought it._ ”

 

He turned on the TV in his room right in time for his favorite MTV promotional commercial where a rocket shot off and couple was stuck in a TV and a woman in a futuristic suit took a chainsaw to the TV which revealed the station's logo.

Bucky went up to his window, dressed in his favorite red lounging robe and he smiled smugly, and he fixed his short dark to sweep over his left eye,“Incredible. One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second.” He opened up the blinds in one swift motion and looked up to the sky. Bright, blue and only three clouds in the sky. “How could I possible go to school on a day like this?”

Bucky nodded to himself and turned to his stereo/recorder, “This is my ninth sick day this semester. It's getting pretty tough to come up with new illnesses.” Turning a few dials and knobs, Bucky was already getting to work on how to cover himself, “If I go for ten I'm probably gonna have to barf up a lung, so I'm gonna have to make this one count.”

A few minutes later Bucky sat on his bed and got started with his next cover up, and he grabbed his old basketball trophy, “The key to faking out the parents, ugh, it's an art. It's the clammy hands, it's a good non-specific system, I'm a big believer in it.” Bucky grabbed a spool of copper wire and started to wrap it around the head of the golden basketball player, “But if you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in doctor’s office. So what do you do? You fake a stomach cramp. You bend over, start wailing and then you lick your palms. It's childish but so is high school.”

Bucky got up from his bed and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. “Life moves pretty fast,” he removed the robe and turned the hot water on for the shower, “If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.”

Bucky started to undress and he stepped into the shower, he immediately started to shampoo his hair, form it into a short Mohawk, then wash his body, “I do have a test though, that wasn't complete bullshit. It's on European socialism. What's the point? I'm not European, so who gives a crap if their socialist? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn't buy me a damn car.”

Adjusting the water pressure, switching to the handheld shower head, Bucky rinsed off the body wash off, “ _I recall Central Park in fall, how you tore your dress, what a mess I confess…_ ” Bucky sang into He moved the showered head down past his hips and made a ‘What Can You Do’ face.

A few minutes later Bucky came out of the shower, towels wrapped around his waist and hair, his chest bare and clean, “It's not that I condone fascism, or any ‘ism’. ‘Isms’ themselves aren't good. People should not believe in any ‘ism’, they should believe in themselves.”

Bucky stopped in the hallway and thought about this, “Quoting from John Lennon: ‘I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.’ Good point, after all he was the walrus...I could be the walrus. Even though I'd still have to bum rides off of people.”

 

Back at school, things were carrying on normally. Meaning that everything was boring and school was soul sucking.

Bucky's first period of the day, Economics with Mr. Coulson. The most soul crushing and spirit sucking class to ever graze the Shield High classrooms.

Mr. Coulson was calling names in his monotone voice as per usual, “Amaquelin?”

“Here.”

“Barton?”

“Here.”

“Danvers? Danvers??”

“Here!”

“Barnes? Barnes? Barnes? Barnes?”

Wanda Maximoff, a sophomore ahead of her grade, rose up and gave Mr. Coulson a grin, “He’s sick. My best friend's sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend saw Bucky pass out at Thirty-One Flavors last night! I guess it's pretty serious.”

Coulson raised an eyebrow, “Thank you, Wanda.”

“No problem whatsoever.”

Mr. Coulson resumed calling off his roll sheet once again, “Romanov? Romanov?”

 

Bucky had set up a lawn chair out in the backyard and picked up a few tropical things from the garage, the Barnes usually had a neighborhood barbeque and they had more that enough Hawaiian themed party supplies to turn New York into Hawaii.

Bucky was dressed in his favorite swim trunks, sandals and sunglasses. Sipping happily on Hawaiian Punch, Bucky picked up the house phone he brought from inside and dialed a friend.

After three rings, they answered, “Hello?”

Bucky sat up in his lawn chair, “Natasha, baby, what's happening?”

Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes’ best friend, she was his rock, his role model and resident party pooper. Natasha and her family were originally from Russia, and had moved into the New York suburban area when she was eight. At the time, all Natasha knew was Russian and how to do a proper pliè.

When Natasha started school, a lot of kids picked on her for her ‘funny voice’ and ‘weird hair’. Bucky on the other hand loved her accent and fiery red hair and just wanted to be friends with her. After kicking ass with her at the playground, a friendship was born. But ever since they entered high school, there was a couple idiots that kept telling them “You’ll date, then become High School Sweethearts and then get married and have kids! You're a guy with a girl as a friend, it's bound to happen!” If they only knew…

“Very little,” Natasha replied quietly.

“How do you feel?” Bucky asked with concern.

“Shredded.”

“Is your mother in the room?”

“She’s in Decator,” Natasha huffed, “Unfortunately she's not staying. Where are you?”

“I'm taking the day off, come on over.” Bucky stated proudly as he took a sip of his drink.

Natasha coughed away from the phone, “I can't, idiot, I'm sick as a fucking horse.”

“That's all in your head. Come over.”

“I feel like absolute shit! I can't go anywhere.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and crossed his legs in the chair, “Ooooh, I'm sorry to hear that. Now come on over and pick me up!” Bucky yelled as he hung up the phone.

Natasha stares up at her ceiling and whispered, “I’m dying…” Her phone rang again and she looked at it confusingly, she pressed the ‘receive’ button anyways.

“You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do.” Bucky said then quickly hung up. Natasha raised one of her red eyebrows and and shook her head.

Bucky tosses the phone behind him and relaxed into the chair. He looked up at the perfectly blue sky the day has provided and sighed contently, “Nat really needs a day off. She has a lot of things to sort before she goes to college. She can't be this wound up and go to college, because eventually she'll just break and kill her roommate.”

Natasha was still laying in her bed, her black comforter was tucked under her chin snuggled tightly and her forehead was shining with sweat, “ _When Natasha was in Egypt’s land...let my Natasha goooo._ ”

Bucky rolled his eyes and sat up, “Pardon my french, but Natasha is so wound up tightly, that if you just so happened to shove a giant piece of coal up her ass, you'd get a fucking diamond in a matter of seconds.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> natasha loosen up jesus 
> 
> also this is unbetaed so if anyone sees mistakes please feel free to curse me out (jkjk also not really)


End file.
